Here’s the thing, I like quantifying things. I like stats and metrics and formulas. So, when people ask me a question like, “What’s your favorite music / artist / album?” it can be hard to answer. It’s not like I have some sort of intricate Excel spreadsheet set-up with all my favorite music graded and rated based on some sort of wonkish self-conceived rubric. I’m not that much of a nerd.
Wait. Hold on. Yeah.
As of a last week, I am that much of a nerd. Beginning precisely seven days ago I began cataloging my favorite albums and grading them out.
To limit the endless amount of albums that can/will be rated, I’ve started with albums released after December 31, 1999.
To find my favorite album of the new millennia, I took the 40 post-Y2K albums that still find themselves in semi-regular rotation on my Spotify / iTunes / illegal downloaded music collection and began grading.
The Albums (and mixtapes)
50 Cent – Get Rich or Die Tryin | Chance The Rapper – Acid Rap | Kid Cudi – Man on The Moon, A Kid Named Cudi | Drake – So Far Gone, Thank Me Later, Take Care | Eminem – The Marshall Mathers LP, The Eminem Show | Fall Out Boy – Take This to Your Grave, From Under the Cork Tree | Frank Ocean nostalgia, ULTRA, channel ORANGE | Jay-Z– The Blueprint, The Black Album, American Gangster, The Blueprint 3 | Justin Timberlake – FutureSex/LoveSounds | Kanye West – The College Dropout, Late Registration, Graduation, 808s and Heartbreaks, My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy | Kendrick Lamar – Good Kid, m.A.A.d city | LCD Soundsytem – Sound of Silver, This Is Happening | Passion Pit – Manners, Gossamer | Sleigh Bells – Treats | The Roots – How I Got Over | The Strokes – Is This It | Lil’ Wayne – Tha Carter 2, Da Drought 3 | The Throne – Watch The Throne | Radiohead – Kid A | Vampire Weekend – Vampire Weekend, Contra, Modern Vampires of the City | The White Stripes – White Blood Cells, Elephant
The Rubric
- Each track on each album is scored on a point scale from 0-2 and added together. Bonus tracks are not scored. Skits and Interludes are not scored. Hidden tracks are scored. Points are awarded based on how I’d finish the following sentence;
“When this track comes on I…
0 = …auto-skip.”
0.5 = …sometimes listen, sometimes skip.”
1 = …never skip.”
2 = …go out of my way to listen / put on repeat / add to special playlists / sing into my hairbrush / cry / lose my mind / make-out with the person standing next to me / et cetera. ” - Each track on the album is counted and multiplied by 1.5 to give it a base rating (once again, not including skits, interludes and bonus tracks). Example: if there are 10 tracks on the album, the base rating is 15 (10 x 1.5 = 15)
- Divide points scored (step 1) by the album’s base rating (step 2) and multiple by 100.
The Formula:
(Step 1 / Step 2) x 100 or (Points Scored / (Number of songs x 1.5)) x 100.
***Disclaimer: This is about favorite not best. All pretension goes out the door right here***
The Top 20
20) Fall Out Boy – Take This to Your Grave (2003) – Score: 8.3
Told you all pretension was out the door.
This CD was stolen straight out of my sister’s bedroom and preceded to live in my Sony Walkman for the better part of 10th and 11th grade. Calm Before the Storm still creeps into my head bi-weekly, even if I’ve gone months without hearing it, and Dead on Arrival and Grand Theft Autumn are too high school to even explain.
19) The Roots – How I Got Over (2010) – Score: 8.3*
This spot is sort of like a career recognition award for The Roots. As much as I love The Roots’ sound, I rarely sit down and play one of their albums straight through from start to finish. Usually, I just make one big ass Roots playlist and hit shuffle.
That said the first half of this album is without flaws. It’s crazy good.
18) Kendrick Lamar – Good Kid, m.A.A.d city (2012) – Score: 8.3
This album made me a K. Dot believer. I really felt Kendrick was destined for a Talib Kweli career, maybe a Common career if he played his cards right – a super talented rhymer with a hit here and there, but never rising too much higher than the backpacker label.
Damn was I wrong. The guy’s a superstar. Insta-classic.
17) Vampire Weekend – Contra (2010) – Score: 8.3
Remember when I said, “Each track … is scored on a point scale from 0-2”, well that was sort of a lie. One of the 600+ tracks scored actually received a 3. That track…
“I Think Ur A Contra”
Why?
Because, I love that song more than most things. It’s my Desperado.
Full disclosure, I’ve probably looked up the word “contra” in the dictionary between 5 and 500 times and I’m still not exactly sure it’s definition.
16) The White Stripes – White Blood Cells (2001) – Score: 8.3
Sometimes you just need to rock your freaking face off. When talking about Jack White one of my college buddies put it best, “the guy plays from his balls.”
15) Kanye West – Late Registration (2005) – Score: 8.4
This is just the tip of the Kanye iceberg. There’s not a single skipable song on this album, the beats murder and the features are even better.
14) Kid Cudi – Man on the Moon (2009) – Score: 8.4
Like I said earlier, only one song received a 3, but damn did Soundtrack 2 My Life come close. It’s my favorite hip-hop song ever.
ALSO, I played Make Her Say incessantly senior year of college, like probably four times a day minimum.
ALSO, I truly believe Pursuit of Happiness is the Smells like Teen Spirit of my Generation. I can write another 1,000 words explaining that last statement, but I’ll just let it sit with you for now.
13) Frank Ocean – channel ORANGE (2012) – Score 8.5
There are probably four perfect songs on this album. One of which gives me a lump in my throat every time I hear it and one of which I croon along with – making the ugliest sing-face you’ve ever imagined – every time it comes on the radio. Sure it’s embarrassing, but who cares.
12) Kanye West – Graduation (2007) – Score: 8.5
BANGER after BANGER after BANGER. ‘Nuff said.
11) Justin Timberlake – FutureSex/LoveSounds (2006) – Score: 8.6
The first CD I ever owned was Backstreet Boys.
A lot of people don’t know this, but back in 1996 when you bought a Backstreet Boys’ album from your local Sam Goody you were forced to take a blood oath declaring your allegiance to Brian, Kevin, Nick, Howie and AJ. Part of that oath also included fighting a lifelong battle against NSYNC and everything they stood for.
This wasn’t really a problem until 2002 when Justin Timberlake decided to release Cry Me a River and force a legion of BSB fans into becoming closeted Justin fans. Bashing him in public for the bleached hair, the curls, the Britney obsession, but secretly knowing every single lyric to Cry Me a River, Rock Your Buddy and Senorita.
Then Justin dropped FutureSex/LoveSounds in 2006.
There was no use denying it. It was over. Justin won. All hail Timberlake.
10) Kanye West – 808’s and Heartbreaks (2008) – Score: 8.6
Sometimes I honestly believe that this is the only album that matters.
We all have our causes. Bill Gates has malaria. Hillary Clinton has women’s rights. I have 808s and Heatbreaks. It’s the most important album of Kanye’s career and maybe the entire 2000s. Honestly, I don’t really care how you take that last statement, because it’s true.
808s, I will fight for you until my last dying breath. I promise.
9) Chance The Rapper – Acid Rap (2013) – Score: 8.7
Jay, Kanye, Drake, A$AP Rocky, Lil Wayne; 2013 was a mega hyped year for hip-hop releases. One thing though, Chance beat them all.
Acid Rap is the most fun, most heartfelt, best rap album of the year. Easy.
I love Chance. I love this album. Chance for President.
8) Drake – So Far Gone (2009) – Score: 8.8
This album mixtape totally changed the way I listen to music. It flipped everything on its head.
I definitely didn’t like this mixtape the first time I heard it. I wanted more Every Girl in The World type flows, more Bedrock type bravado. I wanted a Wayne protégé. Not all this faux-R&B, indie pop, hipster hip-hop mish mash. Then a few tracks got caught in my head. It crawled its way into my ear and I listened to this mixtape again and again and again. That’s when I learned to accept music for what it is and not what I wanted it to be.
Like I said, it changed me. It made me really love music. All types of music.
7) LCD Soundsystem – Sound of Silver (2007) – Score: 8.9
When I don’t want to listen to hip-hop or rock or pop I listen to this album. It’s a great reset.
North American Scum, Someone Great and All My Friends as tracks 3, 4, and 5 are the Ruth, Gehrig and Meusel of contemporary music. Then ending the album with the beautifully nostalgic New York I Love You but You’re Bringing Me Down makes my heart sink every-single-time. *Sigh*
6) 50 Cent – Get Rich or Die Tryin’ (2003) – Score: 8.9
I will always be 15 years old when I hear GRoDT. It’s everything a 15 year old budding rap fan could ask for. Hit after hit after hit. Totally exhilarating to listen to. A juggernaut. An absolute classic.
5) Jay-Z – The Black Album (2003) – Score: 9.0
The only word that can even begin to describe this album is triumphant. And even calling it triumphant is a gross, gross understatement. It’s more than that. It’s everything Jay wants you to want to want from him. I promise if you breakdown that last sentence it more than makes sense, actually it’s quite possibly the truest sentence ever written.
The Black Album is also in the pantheon of great driving albums. Maybe even the greatest.
4) The White Stripes – Elephant (2003) – Score: 9.1
Jack White is so fucking weird. No album can switch from face melting guitar solo to tender little ditty back to face melter and work so well. Jack White is far and away my favorite rock star on the planet and this album has everything I love about him on it.
3) Sleigh Bells – Treats (2010) – Score: 9.7
If So Far Gone changed the way I listened to music then Treats obliterated everything I ever thought about anything. There is nothing in my DNA or history that could foreshadow me loving this album as much as I do. No one who’s known me for more than 20 second could predict exactly how much I love this album and this sound and this band.
Liking this album and telling people I like this album and knowing they would hate this album or knowing they would judge me for liking an album like this and I not giving a fuck was a revelation. All of sudden when people asked me “what kind of music do you like?” I no longer felt like I had to say what I perceived they perceived as cool. I could stand by my tastes, because fuck it. Sleigh Bells is freaking radical dude.
2) Jay-Z – The Blueprint (2001) – Score 10.4
Ah-Ha! I bet you thought these ratings only went to 10.
I once forced a co-worker into listening to this album. Halfway through she said she felt like she wasn’t worthy, that it made her feel too cool, that she wasn’t and she had to keep reminding herself she wasn’t. I think that’s the absolute best way to describe The Blueprint. It makes you feel like you’re Jay-Z and that you own New York and that you’re untouchable.
P.S. Takeover > Either
1) Kanye West – My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy (2010) – 10.6
MBDTF is a perfect album and it’s still somehow underrated. Its main flaw is its perfectness. People want to nitpick, but there’s no nits to be picked. Kanye West is this generation’s Beatles. Deal with it.
* Tie Breakers were decided strictly by gut feelings.
On The Pursuit of Awesomeness 
Love the scoring system! I’m gonna try that.